Training for the future

A few weeks ago, I finally decided to speak my mind and take my own path about some really big stuff. It took me a long time to do so because I was afraid of disappointing my husband and his family. A plan had been set in motion to start a cafe to go with my husband's brewery opening Labor Day weekend. Everyone wanted me to be the cook and at the time I was getting a little anxious to feel useful, so I think I just went along. After months of struggling with it, and Ricky being up at night with me having nervous breakdowns about my total inability to do such a job- I finally told the family the decision that Ricky and I had been coming to for sometime. I didn't want to be a part of the cafe. While I do love to cook, cooking for family or entertaining friends is a totally different ball game than being a professional. And I am pretty sure I wouldn't like it. And I definitely didn't want to do it. I held out on the decision for a long time because I felt like backing out would make me unsupportive to the family. But I am so glad I mustered the courage to show how I was feeling. And everyone took it really well. They understood that your career (especially in a small family run business) is a huge part of your life and your time and didn't want me to be doing something I didn't want to be doing.

So, then, what do I want to be doing? If you know me then you know I have struggled with this for a long, long time. Ugh. What am I meant to do? What is my purpose here? What is fulfilling and makes the world better?

I want to be a preschool teacher/worker. I am working on my DCF training at the moment. I just finished my first course today:

Being a rules and regs course it was a little more boring than I think some of the others will be. And, naturally, all of the courses are a lot more boring than kids themselves. The courses don't have to, but can be, completed before I start a job. They just have to all be finished and my tests taken within a year of when I started.

I am so excited about this new journey! Tomorrow I have my first interview, so please say a prayer or cross your fingers or whatever it is you do.